Mario and Link's evening of insanity
by Blue Rift
Summary: Main characters always have it worse, don't they?  The title pretty much says it all.  Reuploaded after I accidentally took it down.


**Just another day**

It was just another day in the house. These were peaceful days, although for most of this house's residents this meant one thing; boredom. No world to save, no super villains, no action, most of the time. So they were out having fun. Apart from a few of them.

The house was quite frankly unimpressive looking from outside, but it was "impressive" inside, for lack of a better word. It was also bigger on the inside, somehow .Shigeru Miyamoto had told the group the story how he had met a strange traveller; he wouldn't say his real name, he always had a girl with him(different every time) he came in a box and he pimped out the house with awesome technology like this. None of the Characters and mascots in the house believed this story. They just accepted that the house was awesome.

Nothing wrong with that; it was true.

* * *

><p>Link stood there with Mario. Kirby had a sly look on his face, but no one noticed. Everyone else seemed to be doing something else outside the house. Captain falcon, Bowser, and Ganondorf had gone out for a drink at the bar. Nobody noticed, but the happy mask salesman was looking through the window from outside the house. He was wearing his angry face, unfortunately.<p>

Link frowned." Mario, what took you so long?" "You missed our brawl tournament! By the way, I won, and also, Peach was looking for you."

Mario sighed "Ugh, I'm so tired. Sorry Peach, but It will have to wait".

The plumber collapsed onto the sofa and rolled over.

Link glanced at Mario's face. "Oh, so that's what's happened. One of _those days_ am I right?

The run down video game character in front of our green suited hero looked extremely wet, battered, had many cuts and bruises as well as painful looking scars on his face.

There was a comfy white floor, which had a built in foot massage system, and the ability to somehow magically solve world hunger(some more of that awesome technology) but even if the characters knew of this function they probably would not be too bothered to use it.

There was a white wall and ceiling, Lush red sofas and chairs, and a 44 inch plasma TV. Classic 8 bit NES sprites were on the wall, and there was a rippling, green warp portal that could transport them anywhere.

Various items were lying around, such as mushrooms, tomatoes, stars, The master sword, The star fox gang's token gadgets, some Poke balls, The ocarina of time, A barrel and bananas, and finally a massive hammer.

They had a strange looking Nintendo console that played all their previous games and could magically upscale NES games to HD, although it was a rather pointless feature.

Mario groaned. "Seriously, you don't a want to know a, my friend."

"It's a been a long day".

"I can guess, Mario." Link replied. "We had a great day. Of course you wouldn't have been able to participate anyway, considering you're banned from videogames for two months after that incident involving your pyromania. You're getting help for that, right?"

Mario nodded.

* * *

><p>Link's mind wavered back to Mario's situation. What could have caused it…<p>

Link could easily guess what had happened. Link remembered that Mario had gone to Hyrule for the day, and the green clothed hero could probably ascertain that the happy mask salesman had something to do with Mario's situation. He knew that guy too well…

Whatever, He thought. Mario was alive. For now.

In the corner of his eye he saw Kirby reach for Link's personal bottle of Chateau Romani, the only milk that could make a man drunk. It was extremely expensive, and combined with the finest Liquor..

Link felt anger flare up inside. The triforce mark on his hand glowed fiercely. He gritted his teeth. That blob had something else coming to him.

This meant war now. Link screamed.

Link struck first with his signature spin attack, knocking the surprised Kirby into the wall. Kirby had not grabbed the milk, so it was fine in the fridge.

Kirby slumped down and cried on the floor.

Link told Kirby "I'm sorry, really sorry, but I need that milk for tonight. Tonight… may be rather painful."

Kirby spoke up "Poyo! What's going on tonight, poyo? Is it THEM again?"

Link replied "No. No aliens this time.

Kirby let out a sigh of disappointment.

Mario got to the point "Link, whatsa going to happen to you tonight then eh?"

Link stuttered for half a minute. "Oh come on-a!" Mario was growing rather impatient as usual. He was so impatient that on most nights he would just eat a pasta ready meal due to his inability to wait.

Link finally worked up the courage to reply.

* * *

><p>"T-Tonight is that time of the month, -For Zelda… She's really not as good at staying calm as Peach is. You're lucky, Mario. So lucky. And when she gets back again, I've got something coming. I like being able to talk, without making high pitched shouting noises! I don't think I can calm her down... Good bye, my voice… see you in 2 weeks…<p>

Mario got to action "Link, get out of-a here. Right-a now, If you want-a to live. Also, does she always do this, everytime?"

Link replied " Someone will say one slight thing, she'll go insane, and there's no going back. She won't hesitate to use those light arrows. They HURT. "

Kirby did not understand "What's wrong with Zelda, Poyo? She's normally a nice person, Poyo."

You'll-a know when you're older, Kirbs. And stop-a saying Poyo all the time!"

Ok, then I'll know when I'm older. But are there aliens, or robots involved?

Mario whacked Kirby round the head.

"Shut up-a!"

Link talked some more about the situation " If I know her, she'll be back in 5 minutes."

Peach jumped down with her parasol "Thanks for complimenting me earlier Link. Hello Mario, sweetie. So what are our escape plans?"

Mario was ecstatic "Peachy!"He ran and quickly hugged peach.

There was a long silence in the room, until Mario decided on a plan

"Run like hell!"

"Good plan".

The Four ran out of the door and down the street.

Peach had an idea. Kirbs, you got a warp star, you cute puffball?"

Kirby sadly shook his head.

Mario had an idea. "Aha!" Mario decided to call up the Star fox team.  
>"Can you guys give us a lift please?" We need-a to escape?"<p>

Mario had a very cheap and bad phone so he heard a painful static noise.

"Heh heh. Sorry guys, but this will be too fun to watch. We've got cameras set up, eh Slippy? Fox was being a jerk as usual. " I cannot wait to watch this."

Slippy was not too keen on the idea, but no one waited for his opinion. The frog thought about how bad his life was at the moment.

Now for the relevant information. "Screw you" Link shouted to the Star fox team.

They began sprinting as fast as they could.

Kirby would not shut up."Hey, listen! I wish there were aliens."

They were getting tired of Kirby. And this time he was intentionally annoying Link.

"Kirby, shut up" Link shouted. You listen!"

They ran some more until Peach spotted a Bus stop, with a bus just ready to depart.

"Woohoo, a Bus!" She jumped for joy.

She waved her hands towards the driver

"Excuse us, but where is this bus going?" The driver spoke in a gruff voice.

"We'll stop at Radical city, then we'll go to Resort island."

Mario said "Oh-a no. This destination sucks-a."

"

Link said "Yeah. Why didn't we just take our warp portal at home?"

"Kirbs will go, right? There could be aliens!" Peach said. I'll go."

This convinced the naive Kirby.

"Yay". Kirby danced around happily.

Peach-a, why-a you going in the Taxi? The plumber asked.

"Because we'll be screwed otherwise. See ya sweetie!"

They drove off.

* * *

><p>Mario and Link were on their own. They kept running. Not enough.<p>

They saw a gust of wind and a green glow and knew they were screwed.

Mario and Link's hearts pounded.

Mario quietly uttered a prayer. "O holy flying spaghetti monster, please-a spare me".

Link was not surprised at this for some reason.

Zelda walked up to Link.

"Why are you running away, Link? Thought I can't teleport?

"B-Because I thought you were going to-

Going to do what to you, Link? I'm finding it very insulting, how you think I'd just..

"I don't want to attack you Link. Really, come on. I can control myself."

"R-Really?" Link voiced quietly.

"Yes, really" Zelda said calmly.

She added "I am actually very angry and am going to take it out on everyone including you. Sorry I lied."

Link and Mario turned to run.

"You shouldn't have done that." Zelda coldy declared.

The happy mask salesman stepped out of the shadows.

"That's my catchphrase. What have you DONE to me? Aaah!

The mask salesman went into an insane rampage, running away towards some unfortunate pigeons he could strangle to help curb his rage; like a glorified stressball. He then realized that he had not finished with Mario from earlier, so he grabbed him and pulled him along. He kept the Mario mask that he had on the real plumber's face. They would think he was just a cosplayer or something. "It's a better than that lightning kick" Mario thought as he was dragged off to who knows where.

Link was shivering now.

"Link, you know what happens now".

Link's body was ready.

She readied electrical energy into her foot, preparing to kick.

To people living nearby a loud YAAAAAH! Sound could be heard.

* * *

><p>Kirby and peach knew someone was after them. They were stranded in radical city.<p>

They could hear a song playing.

"Does it brighten up your day? Don't you feel sometimes you just need to run away?" They saw a red glow and heard a sound.

"Trust me guys, I'm not as evil as in those Sonic R creepypastas."


End file.
